The Atlantic & Southern Saturday Report

[deemery]

I didn't know about the salt on roofwalks, that makes sense (mix of salt and sand would work even better.)  Those could be damned slippery in bad weather!


dave

[PRR Modeler]

Another great story Bill.

[jrmueller]

Your Honor - Thanks for another of your informative stories and keeping us up to date about Tom. Jim

[Judge]

Saturday Report -January 22, 2022.

There is no Saturday Report today because the Board of Directors meeting of the Atlantic & Southern Railroad was canceled.  The CEO is recovering from surgery and both directors must be present (including your reporter, who is the Railroad's Ticket Agent) for there to be a quorum.

The February 1938 edition of Railroad Magazine was selected to get ideas for this week's story, but it was hard to get past the first few pages of advertisements.  Here are examples: 

"Be a Passenger Traffic Inspector. – Trained Men in Demand – Positions Ready.  Men 19 to 50 -trained as railroad and bus passenger traffic inspectors are in constant demand.  Our short home-study course qualifies you quickly and, upon completion, will place you at up to $135 per month plus expenses to start or refund tuition. Standard Business Training Institute of Buffalo, N.Y, Div. 5002.  (No job description of just what a Passenger Traffic Inspector actually does was included in the ad.)

Start a Potato Chip Business in your home and make money.  Buy potatoes for $.02 per lb. and sell "greaseless" chips for $.035 per lb.  small investment buys complete equipment needed.  No experience is necessary.  Offered by Food Display Machine Corp., 3235 West Huron, Dept. D-232. Chicago.

LAW Study at Home – Legally trained men win higher positions and bigger success in business and public life.  They command respect Greater opportunities now than ever before.  Big corporations are headed by men with legal training. 
   More ability, more prestige, more money!  We guide you step by step.  You can train at home during spare time.  Degree of LL.B. conferred.  Successful graduates in every sector of the United States.  We furnish text materials, including a fourteen-volume law library.  Low cost, easy terms.  LASALLE EXTENSION, Dept. 258-L, Chicago.

I'LL TRAIN YOU AT HOME in your spare time for a GOOD RADIO JOB.  Many radio experts make $30, $50, $75 a week!  National Radio Institute, Washington, D.C.

HERE'S THE WAY TO BECOME AND EXPERT ON DIESEL ENGINES * International Correspondence Schools, P. O. Box 2206, Scranton, Penna.

FISTULA – Anyone suffering from Fistula, Piles, or Non-Malignant rectal trouble is urged to write for our FREE Book describing the McCleary Treatment for those insidious rectal troubles.  The McCleary Treatment has been successful in thousands of cases.  Let us send you our reference list of former patients living in every state of the Union.  The McCleary Clinic, D-207 Elms Blvd., Excelsior Springs, Mo.

In addition to the valuable products advertised, the February 1938 Railroad Magazine had a page of short 'jokes."  Here are three of them.  Humor in 1938 was a little different, but it is funnier after a cocktail or two.  (The jokes have been rewritten to have taken place on the A&S.)

                                                                                                     Slight Misunderstanding:
On the Atlantic & Southern, at Sanlando, there is one man who fills the position of caller, operator, and dispatcher, besides just about everything else that needs doing.  His title is Train Dispatcher.  One day a fellow from the General Office called on the phone with a rush message for transmission, asking who had received the message
   "Dodge," answered the Dispatcher.
   "Right, Mr. Hodge."
"The name is DODGE!" shouted the dispatcher.  "What would you do if someone threw a brick at you?"
   "Duck," he replied.  "O. K., Mr. Duck."

                                                                                                                 BEAR MEAT
   A certain brakeman on the A&S liked to be known as "hard-boiled."  One day he walked into Sweaty Bett's Diner, pounded on the counter and cried in a loud voice, "I want service." 
   The waiter asked for his order.
   "I want bear meat," said he.
   "Just what cut of bear meat would you like to have?"
   "Run the bear out here," was the reply.  "I'll tear out what I want." 

                                                                                               JUST LIKE OTHER PASSENGERS
   A lady boarded the Champion at the Summit Station, carrying her dog with her.  She asked the conductor, "If I pay my dog's fare will he be treated like any other passenger and be allowed to occupy a seat?"  The conductor answered, "Of course, madame.  He will be treated the same as any other passenger and can occupy a seat, provided he does not put his feet on it."

   



 

[PRR Modeler]

Excellent Bill.

[deemery]

Sign me up for "Law Studies at Home"...


dave

[Zephyrus52246]

I wonder what the McCleary treatment for rectal troubles was.      Then again, maybe I don't want to know.

Jeff

[Judge]

Addendum to the December 31, 2021, Saturday Report.

A couple of weeks ago, I reported on Locomotive Safety and Regulation - particularly boilers and the practice of "trading water for steam." (See p. 80).  Here is a website that has several photos of boiler explosions and an interesting video of an explosion in 1948 on the C&O involving a T-1 2-10-4.  Keep your water glass full and these accidents won't happen.  I suspect one of the members of this forum will recreate a boiler explosion disaster on his/her layout.  Hopefully, it will be a staged photograph. 

http://industrialscenery.blogspot.com/2015/11/boiler-explosion-of-c-t-1-3020-on-may.html

[PRR Modeler]

Fascinating stuff Bill.

[Judge]

Saturday Report – January 29, 2022

   There will be no Saturday Report again this week because the President of the Atlantic & Southern Railroad is still recuperating from surgery. The weather here in Central Florida is chilly.  It was 41 degrees at dawn this morning and will only go into the high 50s today.  But there is lots of sunshine.  Sorry about that, New Englanders.
        While there is no report, there is a story.  Your reporter has noted that attention has not been paid to any of the characters who live in and around Tahope recently so this week's story is an update on the adventures of Newt Fisher and his cousin, Donnie "Short Stack" Turner.  Readers will recall these two, who regularly have scrapes with the law and have a hard time keeping a job with the railroad.  They live in The Bottoms which is a dimly lit area with a large railroad yard on the lower level of the A&S.  Newt and Shortstack live in a 1934 Airstream trailer parked next to the river.  The river provides them with fish, crabs, bathing opportunity, and cooking water for Mulligan Stew.  Their nearest neighbor is Boxcar Betty, who smokes cigars, drinks corn squeezins and has never lost a fight.
   For those of you who are new to the Saturday Report, there is some information about Newt Fisher and Short Stack interspersed within previous reports.  Examples include "Inhabitants of Eaton's Curve (page 8, , Life in the Bottoms (page 10), Code Talkers (p.19), Striking it Rich on a Student Trip (page 22), and The Ride to the Great Divide (page 23).  For information about Perkins' Farm see page 13.

                                                                                                   The Purloined Breakfast

   In late January 1949, Newt Fisher and his cousin, Donnie "Short Stack" Turner managed to convince the new yard boss at Summit to let them hire on as brakemen.
   For those readers who are not familiar with the weather in Central Florida, let me tell you that there are a few rainy grey days in January when the temperature gets down into the low 30s and the effect can be bone-chilling.  It was one of those days when our heroes climbed aboard a Coast Line M3 red caboose for the run from Summit to Tampa.  The train was powered by one of the Coast Line's famous P5B Pacifics, specifically designed for dual service duty and at home at the head of a freight drag or a 12-car streak of varnish, like the Southwind.
   It had been a long time since these characters had parked their carcasses in a red crumb box and the cold weather had whetted their appetites.  Newt started a fire in the coal stove and Short Stack checked the crummy' s larder to see what was available for breakfast.  He said, "Newt if we had some ham we could have ham and eggs if we had some eggs."  The lack of vittles required putting thought to the problem.  Quite a few delicacies could be gotten near the tracks if would-be foragers put their minds to it. 
   The Brains was consulted when he climbed aboard and agreed that something had to be done about breakfast.  Shortstack discovered the route that day would include a water stop at Piney Woods Station, which was located close by Farmer Perkins' farm.  The two brakies convinced the Brains that a purloined breakfast was better than no breakfast at all, so a plan soon developed.
        The train pulled out of Summit Yard an hour before dawn and was 10 minutes ahead of schedule when it came to a stop at the water tank at Piney Woods. The Brains walked up to the engine to speak with the engineer, Uncle Henry O'Leary, while Newt and Short Stack skedaddled past the orange grove and into Farmer Perkins' chicken coop. They snatched a handful of eggs, grabbed a ham from the nearby smokehouse, and made a run for it back to the train. 
        Farmer Perkins heard the commotion and stepped out onto his porch with his shotgun.  He shot into the dark a few times but, since he could not see the thieves, his buckshot went wild.  Newt had the presence of mind to snatch a few ripened oranges from one of Farmer Perkins' orange trees on their way back to the crummy. 
Soon the aroma of fried ham and eggs rose from the crummy' s smokestack and the crew feasted on breakfast washed down with Florida orange juice. 
         Newt, who suffers from a fear of accomplishment, said to Short Stack, "I feel like I can accomplish anything! I've always wanted to say that."  "And now you've accomplished it," said Short Stack 
         And the train pulled out of Piney Woods on time.

        Attached is a video taken a few years after our story showing the freght train (now diesel powered) passing Perkins' Farm and entering Piney Woods.  The train passes the Piney Woods Station and proceeds across the Suwanee River Lagoon (rainstorm) and beyond. 

                                                                                             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxlI-UA2hII

[PRR Modeler]

Another great story of the bottoms.

[GPdemayo]

Enjoyed the story Bill.