The Atlantic & Southern Saturday Report

[Judge]

Tom - I think you will be satisfied with Marvin Bello's approach to Pierpont's domestic disaster. 

[BandOGuy]

My divorce notice from wife #1 came during my trip home from 'Nam. That's another story.
When I arrived stateside, I didn't have the cash needed for attorney fees, so I went to Navy Federal Credit Union and filled out the loan application as best I could. I gave it to the loan officer, she looked it over and said "You didn't list the reason for the loan". I looked the form over again, and not seeing Divorce, checked the next most appropriate box. The loan officer looked again and accepted my submission. I had checked the box for "Home Improvement". I got the loan.

[deemery]

My divorce notice from wife #1 came during my trip home from 'Nam. That's another story.
When I arrived stateside, I didn't have the cash needed for attorney fees, so I went to Navy Federal Credit Union and filled out the loan application as best I could. I gave it to the loan officer, she looked it over and said "You didn't list the reason for the loan". I looked the form over again, and not seeing Divorce, checked the next most appropriate box. The loan officer looked again and accepted my submission. I had checked the box for "Home Improvement". I got the loan.

That's a "Saturday Report" story right there!!!

dave

[PRR Modeler]

Yes, it was a home improvement loan.

[Judge]

Saturday Report - January 30, 2021. 
    There is no Saturday Report today.  Your reporter is "mobility challenged" due to the development of a condition called spinal stenosis, which has limited his movement.  The orthopedic doctor is going to try to treat the condititon conservatively, but it will probably require surgery.  In any event, you reporter received his second dose of vaccine yesterday and he will do his best to attend the Board of Director's Meeting next Saturday.
    There is a chapter of the story of the Scandal in Tahope printed below for your entertainment.  The basis for this part of the story came from Tom Langford, I think.  If not, thanks for the story whoever told it.

                                                                                                       Scandal in Tahope Part II
   
    Last week we learned that marital tranquility in the Forester home had been disturbed with the news that Rose Forester wanted to divorce her husband, J. Pierpont Forester, who is president of the Tahope State Bank.  He is a clueless man who is the only person in Tahope who is unaware of Rose's trysts with Officer Eldridge Poovey.
    While Pierpont drove his 1950 Lincoln to work that morning, he decided to stop off at the office of the bank's attorney, Marvin Bello, who had never lost a case.  Bello, smelling a large fee in the offing, welcomed Pierpont and suggested that he should immediately protect his assets and prepare for serious litigation.  Bello made a phone call to the courthouse and found out that Rose had hired Larry Lickem to represent her and he had filed for divorce that morning alleging "extreme cruelty" as the grounds.
    When Pierpont arrived at his office at 10:00 a.m., he discovered that Rose had withdrawn all of the funds from their joint bank accounts.  She had also canceled his Standard Oil credit card by telling the card company that Pierpont was deceased. 
    Pierpont was livid and proceeded to drive home to confront Rose with his displeasure.  Upon arriving at his residence, he was surprised to see his belongings strewn on the front lawn and a locksmith pulling out of the driveway.  Rose had successfully evicted Pierpont from his home.  Rose even kept his dog.
    Pierpont returned to his office and called Marvin Bello.  He instructed him to file a counterclaim for divorce with the court immediately.  Then he made arrangements for a hotel suite at the Imperial Hotel at Summit. 
    Meanwhile, Officer Eldridge Poovey moved into the former marital home with Rose. 
    This maneuver caused Rose's daughter, Peaches, much anxiety and she moved her belongings out of the house and into her boyfriend's apartment. 
    Peaches' boyfriend, Terrell "Tater" Cartwright, had by this time been promoted to Roundhouse Foreman and he answered directly to Will Fixer, the Director of Maintenance for the Atlantic & Southern Railroad.  As such, he was able to accommodate the additional expense of a live-in girlfriend, and Peaches was not inexpensive.
    Several weeks went by while the pretrial preparations were being conducted in the divorce case.
One morning, Pierpont was having a conference with Marvin Bello and he reported an incident that Bello found to be of great interest. 
    It seems that when Rose deposited Pierpont's personal belongings on the front lawn, she neglected to include his new blue suit that had just come back from the cleaners. 
    "Well," said Pierpont, "there I was parking my car next to the downtown diner for lunch when up drives Poovey in my MG roadster.  He got out of the car and I noticed he was wearing my blue suit.  Now, Marvin, I don't really mind that Poovey got my wife and my car, both of them were pretty much worn out, but the suit was brand new!"
    Bello responded, "Pierpont, Rose just did the biggest favor she could have ever done for you.  Let me get my investigator on this right away.
    To be continued.

[jrmueller]

Judge, your stories are better than anything on tv. Advice from a long suffering spinal stenosis sufferer; avoid surgery as long as possible. Jim

[PRR Modeler]

Another great story Bill. I wish you the best with the stenosis.

[Jim Donovan]

Loved the story Bill and hope you are able to avoid surgery. I remember my brother said he had hired the best divorce lawyer in Hillsborough County when he went through his first. Unfortunately they lived In Pinellas County and she hired a local lawyer. Turned out Pinellas divorce lawyers were better then the best Hillsborough had to offer based on the settlement.

Jim D

[BandOGuy]

I'm no lawyer, but I opine that Pierpoint may have grounds for a suit.

[postalkarl]

hey Tom:

Sounds like you made out OK.

Karl

[ACL1504]

Back in the mid 80's I had an officer who worked for me. He met and married a court reporter. If I remember correctly, she was perfect in every way except one. She apparently liked the process of getting married. When she married CD, it was her fourth marriage. We tried to tell CD  that he was making a very big mistake but he just wouldn't listen. Well, CD and Donna were married and lived a happy life for almost a year.

We were on the midnight shift and one morning when he got home Donna told him she wanted out of the marriage. However, they agreed to a separation while the details were being worked out. CD moved to his own apartment but left many of his belongings.

CD decided to go by the house one day and found a man cutting the grass. He thought at least she was keeping the grass cut. Then CD noticed the man cutting the grass was another officer and one of his friends. He then noticed the officer was wearing his yard clothes to cut the grass. He parked the car down the street to watch when Donna came out of the house only wearing "two band aids and a cork". She gave the officer a glass of something to drink and then they embraced.

That night CD told me he then left and was very upset that Donna was seeing another man, an officer, and one of his friends or so he thought.

He told me, "You know, the house was hers when we got married, she was married three times prior to me and my yard clothes were old. So they were all used. But damn, he was using my new lawnmower."

They got a divorce and Donna made her new officer yard man her fifth husband. Soon after that happy union, Donna left him and moved up north to hook up with an old flame so we were told. We never saw or heard from Donna after that.

As for the officer cutting CD's yard and using his new mower, well he found out the Law Enforcement Code for Officers was alive and well.

It states - You never poop in your own back yard as it will eventually get between your toes.

[GPdemayo]

Great Saturday Report Bill and neat follow up story Tom.....

[Keep It Rusty]

Good one, Tom!

A true moral, if I've ever heard one.

[Judge]

I have a whole bag of stories from my years on the bench involving names.

One of the more benign ones involved the lady who got married to a Greek merchant marine sailor.  The marriage only lasted for a long weekend before the new husband sailed back to Athens.  The jilted wife filed for divorce.  Since there was no property to divide, the wife only wanted her marriage to be dissolved and her former name to be restored.  She filed her petition "pro se," which means without a lawyer. 

The case showed up on my uncontested docket one morning and I looked at her petition and said it appeared to be in order.  She said she wanted her former name restored and I said, "You know, ma'am, I can give you any name you want."  She said, "My former name will be fine."  I began signing the final judgment and said, "Alright Mrs. Kapsiotis, from now on you will be known as Mrs. Koslowski."  I wish all of my divorce cases ended on such a happy note.

Speaking of names, I was presiding over arraignments one morning at the jail and one of the defendants asked to speak to me.  He said, " Judge, this ain't right.  My name ain't the name on that paper charging me with burglary."  I looked at the court file and said, "Well, what name do you want?  I can change your name to any name you prefer.  But I tell you what, for now, I am going to give you the name that is on the arrest report with your mug shot on it."

I was trying mortgage foreclosures one afternoon and the homeowner took the stand and said the signature on the promissory note and mortgage was not hers.  I looked at the payment record from the bank, which was in evidence, and asked her "If those are not your signatures, why would you make payments on the note for four years before defaulting?"  She said, "That is a good question."  I said, "I know, that is why I asked it.'"   

[GPdemayo]

Great stories Bill.....I can read/listen to those yarns all day.