Stories from the Street!

[ACL1504]

First, a small disclaimer. I don't claim to be an Ebonics Linguist or a Linguistics Scholar or anything close. I'm telling a story as I remember it, simple as that.

Remember this story centers around fences.


My partner for this particular night was George Northcutt. Around 10 PM we received a call reference to a Signal 22 in progress. S-22 is police lingo for a civil disturbance, domestic dispute or fight. The location of the complaint was on the west side of town. This section is also located in a less affluent neighborhood.

Domestic disputes, no matter the location, are more dangerous for law enforcement safety than armed robberies. Usually the armed robbery suspect is long gone but in a domestic dispute, most times, the offending parties are still on site.

We knocked on the front door and a middle aged woman opened the door. Her face was a little swollen and some blood was caked on the crease of her lips.

First thing George asked was are you alone here. She nodded yes. I then inquired about the problem.

She stated, " Me hubund, we was agring bout cooking gruns. He wunded ham and I's wunded bcum." George being the smart one says, "Ain't bacon and ham the same"? Still not sure how he knew what she was saying. She said, something like yes but pending on the pig, it do cheng the flayer".

She stated, " I's asked me hubund to ged out da kitcen and then he dun het me bout the feece. I asked what he hit her with and she responded "with his fence. He het me bout the feece in hearen and in da frun yud.

The three of us went to the front yard and I astutely asked, Where is the fence he hit you with? She looked at me and said, "no'm, he dun het me with booth his fences" She then held up her two hands making a fist in each.

Yepper, he hit her with both his fences.

[S&S RR]

Great story. 

[NKP768]

Sad thing Tom.....they probably vote.

Doug

[GPdemayo]

Darn good start.....I'd hate to get hit in the face with an ole' stone fence. 

Can't wait till the next installment. 

[deemery]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrZlWw8Di10  (A classic scene from a classic movie.  The more I learned about the airline industry/air traffic control, the funnier this movie got!)


dave

[PaulS]

Thanks Tom, great story ...

After the long day in meetings, etc..., I needed some levity and a good laugh.  You sir, provided that !!
Likely that ReadingBob can use the same, although this is his Friday, lucky dude ....
  Thanks for sharing and looking forward to the next installment of 'The Langford Chronicles'

Have a good evening Tom and be well,
--Paul

[tct855]

I wonder if an ambulance was called?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0fhbvoghWA

[Jim Donovan]

Sad thing is  I am sure they got back together.

Jim D

[MAP]

Great story Tom!  I'm sure you've got a few others tucked away in your noggin that you'll share one day.

[Judge]

In the late eighties/early nineties, prisons in Florida were so overcrowded the Federal Courts entered an injunction requiring a reduction in prison population.  Some inmates were given "two fers," which meant credit for two days for each one day served.  They were also given credit for gain time (good behavior).  The Department of Corrections was surprised to learn that the vast majority of crimes were drug-related.  Today, 37% of Florida's prison population are in custody for drug offenses.

One Friday afternoon I was presiding over a violation of probation docket.  I had a defendant before me who had committed a new felony crime and his record showed he deserved a prison sentence for committing it.  I sentenced him to 30 months in prison.  When he was taken back to the county jail, the sheriff notified the DOC that this defendant was going to be transported to prison.  The DOC refused to accept him because he had so much credit for time served on his case before he was placed on probation.  I happened to be the weekend duty judge that weekend so I saw prisoners for first appearance hearings Saturday morning.  This guy, whom I had just sentenced to 30 months in prison was on my docket.  It turns out, when he was released from the county jail he went to Harry's Bar in downtown Sanford and got drunk.  Then he wandered down the street to a park and passed out on the gazebo.  He was arrested for vagrancy.  I sentenced him to time served. 

In 1994, the Florida Legislature passed sentencing guidelines that reserved prison space for violent or repeat offenders and the prison overcrowding problem was somewhat solved.  However, the legislature decided to build its way out of the problem and now Florida has the third-largest prison system in the country, with over 120 state prison facilities, housing over 87,000 prisoners.  There are 145,00 people under community supervision (probation/community control).  The DOC has an annual budget of 2.7 billion dollars. One state employee out of five works for the Department of Corrections.  Florida incarcerates prisoners at a greater rate than criminal systems in Russia, China, Saudi Arabia or Nazi Germany.  (Not including political prisoners).  And you thought Texas was tough?   

[GPdemayo]

Our weather attracts a lot of folks from up North, but some of them are not the most upstanding citizens you would wish to have in the state.....probably the same problem they are having in Colorado with all the people moving out of California. 

[ACL1504]

I appreciate all the responses to the story. I won't attempt to respond to all but trust me when I say I agree 100% with the comments.

My wife's brother-in-law is getting a divorce. He was married to Pam's deceased sister. He married down 30 years ago and is now in the process of the divorce.

Yes, this reminds me of another story from the street!

I'll tell this story in English as the Judge warned me to be nice on the forum. My Ebonics is a bit rusty at best anyway. My partner at the time was Jimmy Sisk. We were crime scene technicians at the time of the call. We got the call as an over flow due to the call volume on this very rainy night.

This was another S-22, civic disturbance, between two grown adults.

Upon arrival, we literally had to separate the two folks, husband and wife. I took the husband out side, to the carport and Jimmy stayed with the wife. For the sake of this story, I'll call the two parties Fred and Mary.

Fred, told me that Mary was always criticizing what he did and how he did it. He advised me they had been married 43 years and he thought it was finally time for a divorce. I advised him if that is what he wanted I could perform the ceremony for divorce.

He agree and said, "What do I have to do to get the divorce?"

I said, "Put your right hand on my badge!"

Fred dutifully complied and put his right hand on my badge. I then stated, "By the power invested in me by the Governor of the State of Florida, the Mayor of Orlando and the Orlando Chief of Police, I now pronounce you and Mary divorced."

Fred said he felt better with the divorce and would find himself a new wife.

I told Fred that there were certain conditions when a person gets a divorce. He asked, "What kind of conditions?"

I told Fred that Mary gets the house and he would have to pack up his stuff and leave within the hour. I also told him that he would now have to pay Mary alimony.

He then asked, "What's this alimony?" I said, "Alimony is what a man pays the ex wife, in money which is the same as cash, to continue to live in the life style she has now."

Fred got this sick look on his face and politely said, "I don't like this divorce stuff as I ain't got no money or cash. And, I don't have no place to go nor car to get me there."

I simply said "Fred, put your right hand back on my badge." Problem solved. It's good to be King!

[GPdemayo]

Now that's a hoot.....