Intimidation meaning to me!!!!

[tooStupid]

Dennis, et all

It is hard for me to understand the trials and tribulations some of the forum members have endured. My heart goes out to those who have suffered and are still suffering.

My story is actually boring. I have suffered from "high functioning depression" for the most of my life. It all started when I was a early teen, but did not get diagnosed until I was 63 years old when I had a breakdown. Luckily my doctor noticed is then and are having treatment for it. Drugs and getting involved in kit building. My wife encouraged me to return to the hobby and is highly supportive of it.

It was when I was in the middle of building the SWSM Shipyard kit I finally got peace and broken-down in tears. Not because the kit was challenging, but because I finally realized that me being an anxious tight A** could be focused into creating wonderful structures without and worries. They all flushed from my system like a good bowel movement.

Since that day I created a realistic outlook to my life and began purging the non-joyful elements of my life, including eliminating things that cluttered my life focus, like kits and parts I don't need or want anymore. My small layout, or I think of as a large diorama, has enough in it that I can build over the next few years.

Building structures is "therapeutic" and rewarding and a cheap way of patting yourself on the back.

Now which structure should I build now?

PS: Early in my married life, the day after we were married, her mother told my wife that she could inherit a Huntington disease gene and our children would get it also. The disease would shorten her life by 20 + years and be very challenging for the last 10 or so years. Cutting a multiyear story shorter, we have experimental tests done and when the result came back they said it was inconclusive she would get it. At that point we went out an bought a new TV and lived and planned each new day.

She is over 65 years old without any signs of the disease and is the mother of two girls with a bright and Huntington free life. Was it luck or was the constant prayers my dad had for us? Either case we are grateful and waiting for the next FineScale to meet all you guys and celebrate our victories.

[BandOGuy]

Intimidation...
Where to start...when I got home 45 years ago to the smell of Floquil paint and followed it to the dining room to see my spouse with 20 open bottles of solvent paint painting the FSM castings that were primed by not started to get finished by me...hint...if your not going to build all those kits on the shelf...then I will...still married after 47 years... and after the Campbell shingles were installed on another kit...she advised me they were not straight and to do it over...
When putting a Campbell roof together the metal roofing sheets where put in upside down...noticed after the model kit was put together...Having to move 3 times in 21 years...twice at 1000 miles each time...do you know what that does to your built models...left for work one morning and did not know there was ice on the driveway as I slid out down the driveway to the curb... spouse watched me slid 60 feet and had a good laugh ... staining wood in a kit that came out shinny...purchased some new lumber and did it over...
Hearing my spouse had a golf ball size brain tumor that was ready to cause a stroke...that was removed over 16 years ago...that was found by accident when she threw a disk out after one of those moves...When I went into the same hospital a year later for 5 days due to weird blood work and was told by a team of 5 doctors that cancer was a possibility...the dead gall bladder was 24 hours from taking me out...receiving a call from the police that one of my daughters was in a bad car accident and was being air lifted from our area to the city ... lost a kidney and had an almost severed spinal cord ... had to have metal rods put in... so my advise is to take everything in stride...go see the FSM layout soon...maybe join the Seacoast Division in NH and meet some model RR'ers...and have a good time with our remaining time here...keep sharing with all on the Forum too...

I spent several years in the Northeast Region of the NMRA and can testify to the fact that Seacoast has a lot of great folks in the division and a lot of very talented modelers.
FWIW.

[Dennis Bourey]

Marty, Tom, BandO, Thank you guy's very much. I can't believe the family-oriented it is here. I personally want to thank everyone here. My heart goes out to those that worse off then me. Dennis

[nycjeff]

Hello Dennis, I read your post with great interest and I'm glad that you and your wife were able to survive that ordeal. I can't add anything to all of the responses that have been posted, except that a common thread is that our hobby helps keep all of us a little bit sane. No completely sane of course. I mean grown men playing with trains !  What's that all about ?  Seriously, our hobby should be giving us enjoyment and through this forum, encouragement from others like us. I enjoyed your first build thread and I hope that there are many more to come. Keep modeling.   Jeff

[Dennis Bourey]

Thank you Jeff very much and true word's.

[GPdemayo]

Hi Dennis.....I am amazed and inspired by the way you and your wife have come thru this ordeal and are forging ahead with your lives. Many people would not have the strength to move forward and keep on thriving, given the situation y'all have been handed.

One of the most interesting observations I've made in life is that the people who continue to plow ahead, no matter what life hands them, are usually the most successful and content in their lives. That seems to fit your situation and that of many others on this forum.....mainly that life hands good people difficult challenges and they always manage to persevere and overcome.

As far as your modeling goes, we have all faced the challenge of moving from the basic beginners kits to the more complex craftsmen kits. I have been in and out of the hobby numerous times and have always had to start small and build my skills up over time, after time away from the hobby. Heck, I have had less trouble designing and building real 8,000 sf homes or commercial buildings than I've had with some of the kits I've started.

After reviewing your posts on the Keen build, I can't imagine you will have any trouble getting to the point where you can build any of those kits that intimidate you now. I'm sure, with sufficient practice, you will also get to where you will feel comfortable slapping one of those great yellow or red boxes together.

The suggestion by others, to start out with a simpler Campbell kit, that comes with great instructions, is spot on. I'd also suggest a few of the smaller (and cheaper) B.T.S. and Laser Kit by American Model Builders kits. They both have an extensive line of kits of all sizes and complexity.

I also would like to join you in adding my appreciation to the miscreants that inhabit this forum. They are a bunch of great people that are always willing to help out and support others with the problems we all have faced thru the years. I really enjoy seeing the work of all those who post their efforts on these pages and it has been a good moral enhancer during the years since 2009 when the industry has had some major challenges.

Keep up the fight and I look forward to seeing you build your empire and continue your journey.

[cuse]

What an amazing and powerful thread. Best wishes to all of those forum members who have or are currently facing these kinds of physical, mental, or any other kind of hardships and who have found peace and comfort in this beautiful art form.


To add a bit...Bar Mills and even Fos kits (along with the others Greg mentioned) are not as difficult or intricate as you might assume. I still haven't built a yellow or red box but I have had fantastic results with Bar Mills and Fos. In fact, I'm kind of frightened of the Jordan plastic kits in the drawer as I feel much more comfortable with wood gluing, painting, and weathering processes than plastic at this point. Dive right in, take your time, go twice as slow as you want to and walk away before you need to...I've found so much satisfaction in a job well done and I see the meditative benefits of doing a little bit of work more often...I also don't beat myself up (much) when I ignore it for weeks or months. I try to only get frustrated at allowing myself to get frustrated (or beat myself up for beating myself up)


Sort of related thinking(but as it relates to golf)....2 thoughts that increased my enjoyment of golf (I hardly ever play but still)...
1.) Lou Holtz tells a story about how he was playing in a Pro-Am and would shank it into the trees routinely, followed by a spewing of profanity and frustration. Eventually, the Pro said to him (after a similar mess of a shot and violent reaction), "Where'd you think it was going to go?"   Point being-be realistic, enjoy the wins and don't worry about the mistakes, recognize your ability and do what you can -and celebrate it...After all, we ARE grownups playing with toys-no matter how we might spin it. Just enjoy. Keep proper perspective.


2.) I bring a LOT of golf balls and I don't spend a lot of time looking for lost ones. I just move forward optimistically...wreck some kits, who cares? The sun will rise and Fos will make more.


As far as intimidation, this forum and its predecessor, really helped. Seeing, meeting, and sharing with other mortals as well as modeling heroes has made me much more able to believe I can build nice things too. I used to read the magazines the same way I would watch the NBA..."I can go play basketball too, but it's got very little in common with these guys". Going to the various Craftsman Structure Shows and NNGC's really made it plausible and realistic. I have been to George's a few times and his creation is unfathomable, as a whole, but when you start to hear him and other modeling heroes describe the small steps, you start to understand it's more a function of vision, patience, lessons from doing, and determination than God-given magic. (Maybe Magic with George ). Anyway, thanks so much for sharing and I hope your continued thoughtful introspection will lead you to a hobby life that is peaceful and satisfying to you. I know my hardships and concerns are tiny compared to some here, but I hope my contribution is also useful.


John

[Dennis Bourey]

Hi Greg and John. Thank you both, Very powerful and true word's. Dennis

[Dennis Bourey]

Jim, Thank you for sharing your unfortunate events also. My wife was so active before and now not. hiking kayaking swimming riding bikes. Now she struggles to climb stairs with a cane. This forum is one special place with special people. Dennis

[tct855]

https://youtu.be/5R8vJZD3opg?t=28

[Dennis Bourey]

Good one TC.